Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
