Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize