im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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