trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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