Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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