I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
They took my balls.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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