I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Let's get the cat blown out
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
