you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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