Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
