Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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