I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
