the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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