Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
