If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
