i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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