How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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