I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just high enough for therapy.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
