Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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