Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
