Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
