you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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