I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
