After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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