I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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