Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
