I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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