sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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