I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize