please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
