So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
