Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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