Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
