You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
