He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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