Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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