He asked to "fluff my boner.."
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
