which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
