Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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