I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
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