lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Everyone says I win the strip club
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
