he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
