Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
