Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
