so explain again why im purple
no
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
