Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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