This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
