peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This show inspires me to have sex in space
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
