Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
