Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
