no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
