He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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