I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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