why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm always down for nudity.
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