you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
