operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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